I Can't Lose You
by annnabeth
Summary: Percy and Annabeth have come close to death countless times, but what if they had actually died? All the times Percy or Annabeth could have died, and what would have happened. Collection of one shots.
1. I'll Miss You Most

I Can't Lose You Ch 1

All the times that Percy or Annabeth could have died, and what would have happened if they did.

(A/N) So obviously, I'm not writing the ones where Percy and Annabeth weren't that close, i.e. the hellhound during Capture the Flag, or the sirens in the Sea of Monsters, because the death wouldn't be that impactful on the other. I'm only doing the ones after they realize that they like each other, or can't really imagine life without the other. In my opinion, that's Titan's Curse, so, without further ado, here's the first chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything

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Titan's Curse, Mouth Tamalpais (Mount Othrys)

Annabeth POV

Seaweed Brain. Seaweed Brain, holding the weight of the sky for me. He ran up and took it from Artemis' shoulders, silently coming to an understanding. She went into battle like, well, a goddess. She fought one on one with Atlas for a solid 10 minutes, while I was trying to fend off some of Luke's army. Artemis flung Atlas back toward Percy, who tucked and rolled out of the way, trapping Atlas under the weight of the sky once again. Percy, in all his grimy, tattered glory, came tumbling down the hill quite ungracefully.

I turned and stabbed the last empousa that attacked me, turning the demon to dust. I smiled, and ran to him, helping Percy to his feet. We hugged, the battle raging behind us, and for a second, nothing else mattered. He pulled away, blushing red.

I saw the grey streak in his hair, and I reached up and ran my fingers through it, a light smile tugging at my lips. I grabbed his hand and switched to my hair, threading his fingers through my grey streak, and we made eye contact.

I pulled away, blushing furiously, realizing that that was a really intimate thing to be doing to your _best_ _friend_ , and that we weren't anything more. Percy chuckled at me, momentarily losing his complete cluelessness, and pulled me into another hug, denying the thoughts running through my head, and kissed to top of my head. He really did. That boy.

We had been standing there no longer than a minute, but that was still too much time to stand still during a battle. I was honestly surprised that we hadn't been shish kebabbed yet. I looked up at Percy and he nodded, reading my thoughts. We retreated out of the corner we were standing in and ran to fall into the fight.

I heard a strangled gasp behind me, and I whipped around. I saw Percy, stiffening, with a dagger in his back. Behind him, Atlas was grinning wickedly, but under the strain of the sky, it looked more like he was trying to force something out of his back end. One hand was holding the weight of the sky, and one was pointed forward, having just thrown the dagger. It felt like I was going into shock, and I ran to catch Percy falling to the ground behind me.

My tears fell thick and fast, landing on Percy's chest.

"I never got to tell you," I whispered, struggling through sobs.

"I know," he gasped. He smiled. I let out a breath. He knew? How could he know I loved him like my breath itself?

"Me, too," he finished.

My heart convulsed.

"Really?" I breathed.

Percy nodded with what looked like was all his remaining strength. He exhaled, and his eyes glassed over, still looking into mine.

My innards felt like they were on fire, and I wasn't even the one that got stabbed. Sobs wracked my body, and I couldn't even take in a proper breath. I clung to Percy's body like my life depended on it. Through the tears, through hair and dirt, I kissed his lips like I never got to. I pulled away, and my head rested on his chest. We fit together so perfectly, like puzzle pieces that would never be assembled. He went on this quest to save me, and it was my fault he was dead. I mentally beat myself up. I wasn't supposed to get kidnapped. If I hadn't, Percy would still be alive.

Thalia appeared behind me, pulling me up and dragging me away from his body, where I was meant to be. I screamed, I protested, and I dug my heels into the ground until I had nothing left in me. Defeated, I let her drag me away. Later, I realized the only reason that I hadn't been killed was because of her. Thalia fought for me, killing twice as many monsters so I could have my moment of grief. I loved her for that.

Selfish. I was being selfish. I couldn't even imagine what his mom would feel, or Grover, or any of the other campers. Even Thalia, who had only known him for some short months, seemed empty. Anyone at camp would feel the pain. Percy was the hero of the camp, and now he was gone. But as I looked back, I realized that apart from his mother, I would miss Percy the most. And that was okay. I would live. Because he was Seaweed Brain. My Seaweed Brain, going on the quest, holding the sky, and getting stabbed, for me.


	2. 30 Seconds

**Chapter 2 – 30 seconds**

This is what would have happened if Percy had _actually_ died on Mt. St. Helens instead of everyone just thinking he had.

Disclaimer: I am not Rick. I do not own anything.

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Battle of the Labyrinth, Mt. St. Helens

Annabeth POV

He told me to go, use the spider to get back to Hephaestus, and that he would be fine, he would be fine.

That moron, I thought. That Seaweed Brain.

Another thought ran through my head, the nagging one that had taken root at the beginning of the summer.

You need to tell him now, my subconscious pestered. Or he may never know.

But there wasn't enough time. The telkhines moved with surprising speed, teasing Percy by throwing little handfuls of lava at his feet. There wasn't enough time to tell him. But he had to know.

Before I could lose the courage, I reached out and yanked his shirt collar toward me, laughing internally at the horrified look on his face, probably thinking I was going to punch him or something. He had to know.

I kissed him.

He wasn't very good at it, but then again I probably wasn't either. Before I could let my brain melt to my toes, I forced myself to pull away. I told him to be careful.

Fat chance, my subconscious told me. Percy, careful? Good one.

I jammed my cap on my head, melting out of sight, but stood there for a second longer, loving the look on his face. He looked dazed, as if he had just been snapped out of a dream. Almost immediately, though, his face morphed into stone hard determination.

I ran a few feet back, letting him do his own thing. I couldn't bring myself to walk away.

Don't do anything to put yourself in danger, I told myself. Don't interfere. That's what he wants.

The sea demons taunted him, hurled lava at him, and it took all my willpower not to yell and help him. I turned around and sprinted full force back to the entrance of the Labyrinth.

When I was sure I was out of danger, I slid down the cavern wall and let the tears run silently down my face. I allowed myself 30 seconds to get ahold of myself before going back to Hephaestus.

When I hit 10, I heard him scream. He screamed my name.

When I hit 20, I heard him cry. He cried my name.

When I hit 25, I heard the telkhines laugh with a snarl.

When I hit 30, The crying stopped. My crying replaced it.

I cried for him. I cried for myself. I was so ashamed that I did nothing to help him, but I knew it's what he stayed for. It would be pointless if we both died.

The sea demons retreated to their corner of the cavern, and I ran to meet Percy's body. I stifled my sobs as I went, and what I saw sent a new wave of tears onto my dust streaked face.

His body was badly burned. His orange camp shirt lay in burnt scraps around him, and his shorts were black with soot and singed at the hem. His face was swollen and burned at the chin. I couldn't bring myself to remember him that way, so I just lay next to him, and buried my head in the crook of his neck.

I cried my heart out, my breath sputtering, my heart racing. I tugged on his singed hair, trying to wake him up. I gave up after I pulled a clump out at the base of his neck. My nose running, my eyes drowning, I called on my mother's help.

 _Please, mom_ , I prayed _, If I have ever done_ anything _to make you proud, please, please, please take me home. Home._

The air around me shimmered and got thinner, as if I were going up in the atmosphere. In one breath, my surroundings changed. Home.

I let myself cry; I gave myself 30 seconds to sob and get it all out. 30 excruciatingly slow seconds.

When I hit 10, I heard weapons dropping and footsteps racing toward me.

When I hit 20, I felt a hand shake my shoulder.

When I hit 25, I heard the clopping of hooves and Chiron gasp.

When I hit 30, true to my promise, I stopped sobbing. I let the tears run down my face silently.

Chiron covered Percy's body with a sheet and placed it gingerly on his back. I walked with him back to the Big House and watched as Chiron put Percy's body on the couch below Seymour. The leopard looked down and began crying, if leopards could cry.

I sat down next to Percy's head and began stroking his hair as Chiron lowered himself into his wheelchair.

"Annabeth," Chiron started. "You can cry, you know."

"I gave myself 30 seconds to get myself under control," I managed.

"Annabeth, these are emotions," Chiron said. "They cannot be controlled with logic."

I nodded stiffly and burst into tears once more. My sobs wracked through my body and I curled into Chiron's hug. I don't know how long I was like that, but it could have been 2 minutes or 2 hours. When my eyes finally dried, I pulled away from Chiron's chest and took a deep breath.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Chiron asked gently.

I nodded and dove into the story, my voice hoarse and soft. All throughout, Chiron watched me with impossible calmness. But when I hit the part of Percy's death, he looked down and tears landed on his lap. When he looked up, his eyes were rimmed red and full of tears. _Go_ _on_ , he signaled. When I reached the end, he took a deep breath and stepped out of his wheelchair. He clopped over to the deck and grabbed the conch shell, blowing into it 2 short times. _Gather in the amphitheater_. He looked back at me gently, and I nodded and climbed onto his back, Percy's body in my arms.

Chiron galloped over to the amphitheater and set me and Percy gently in the seats. By now most of the campers knew what was happening, and had numb looks on their faces. Some that had known him better had red eyes, rimmed with tears. He and Clarisse had hated each other, but she was one of the ones actually crying. Seeing all these people that Percy had affected threw me into tears once more.

When we reached the amphitheater, Chiron enlisted the help of a crying Clarisse and the Stoll brothers to pile wood for a pyre. I tried to assist, but I was crying too hard, so Chiron sent me back to sit with Percy's body.

While I tried to get myself under control, as I knew Chiron would have me speak, the funeral pyre was coming together. Campers filed in, most with solemn looks on their faces, but some of the younger campers looked around, confused, trying to figure out what was going on. We didn't get many new campers anymore, because Kronos had a better stance for recruiting young demigods who didn't know any better.

When the pyre was complete, Chiron came over and gingerly picked up Percy's body. He trotted back over to the pyre and set the corpse on top, removing the sheet. When I saw that Percy's eyes were still open, those beautiful sea green eyes that demanded my attention since I first laid eyes on them, I became undone. I let out a soft, but awful screech, and fell onto my side on the seat beside me. Silena Beauregard, who also happened to be crying her eyes out, took my head into her lap and began stroking my hair as my body convulsed with sobs.

Chiron looked back at me as he picked up the lit torch that would light the pyre. I couldn't stand to see it so I closed my eyes. I counted to 30.

When I hit 10, I heard the lighter fluid splashing onto the firewood.

When I hit 20, I heard fire roar across the timber, igniting everything in its path.

When I hit 25, I heard the other campers starting to cry openly. Percy had been this camp's savior, and now he was gone.

When I hit 30, Silena sat me up and rubbed my back, trying to coax me up so I could speak. I opened my eyes, and, seeing Percy amid that fire, knowing he was the son of the sea god, sent a strange calmness washing over me. I stopped crying, hiccupping softly, and stood. Taking a deep breath, I began to speak, telling them of what happened from top to bottom. Janus, Hera, and the doorways, Triple G Ranch, Hephaestus, and finally Mt. St. Helens. I told them how my mother had brought us here after Percy died.

"Percy was the best – _friend_ ," my breath caught on the word, and I saw Silena give me a soft, sad smile. "—that I could have ever wished for. He was always there for me and he always pushed me to do my best. In the end, it was his fatal flaw that killed him. He sacrificed himself to save me. I wouldn't be here without his sacrifice."

I walked up and threw the scraps of his t-shirt that I had been holding since Washington into the fire. I smiled slightly and whispered, "I love you." Only later did I realize that I may have said it a little too loud and that the Aphrodite cabin were all sobbing their eyes out, muttering incoherencies along the lines of _so cute_ and _so sad._

Percy Jackson would forever be the love of my life, but other people didn't need to know that. Our love was brief, a solid 2 minutes, but we loved each other far longer than either of us would care to admit. My love for you is undying, seemingly like the fire that burned your body that night. I love you.

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Okay, the end was probably really sucky, sorry about that. Kinda tried to theme this one.

Would you guys like to see Annabeth's death in the Titan's Curse scene? Also, let me know what scenes you would like to see.

I really appreciate all the feedback from my vast expanse of 3 readers. You guys rock.


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